lunes, 29 de septiembre de 2014

Day by day with hyperemesis

For some reason, i feel like writing about this in English, instead of Spanish. You know? for a long time, pretty much since me and my husband got together i have felt this sense of perfection. Even in the bad days, i felt like life was being too good for me. Honestly, that caused a little guilt inside of me. How come everything turns out right for me? Of course, one could argue it was Karma, since i went through so much before me and alex got together. I went through things that cant even be mentioned and i finally found my white horse, my blue prince and my beautiful castle.  But again, i was always feeling so nerveous, so undeserving of these blessings..dont know why. I can say that day by day i was expecting to be "HIT" by life, go through something really bad, to bring me back to earth and remind me that not everything can be perfect. That moment is now here. I have been wanting to be a mother for so long, now im finally pregnant with my first (and maybe my only) baby. I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum which is a severe morning sickness condition that affect 1% of pregnant there's my big punch from life. I feel miserable every day of my life, even now with medication, i feel awful everyday, i dont answer calls from anyone, i dont leave the house. People have this crazy thought of wanting to "help" by saying the most stupid things. Which by the way, i will list a couple for you:

-You should try smelling a cut lemon
-Have your tried searching in google about it?
-Have you tried ginger?
-I know how you feel......hmmm, no you dont!
-Its just 7 more months...
-This is not about you anymore, its about the baby
-Cheer up!

ohhh and last but not least, i was told by someone to "MAN UP'". Cause apparently i was being too weak and all.

I mean SERIOUSLY??? is this the best "help" and support you can give me? Well thanks but NO THANKS!! Me and my husband will continue to battle this and will continue to pray that God will help us through this. I appreciate all the people praying for us, i really really do. But the stupid comments and questions...the false empathy, the "i know what you're going through" when you obviously have no clue. I mean, if you ever felt like you were gonna die every day of your life, then yes, you understand what i feel. Otherwise, you know what? i dont need you, i dont need your questions, your judgment, your stupid comments, or your useless advice. I have a rare disease and my life and my baby's life is on the line, so if i offended you in anyway....suck it up buttercup! i have no intentions or energy to apologize.